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the way things are

Ever since I was born that fateful morning, as I entered the world not breathing as my umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck, my mother knew i was going to be special, or at least thats what she believes...
My life seems to be a series of unfortunate events, and please dont take me for a depressed, ungrateful teenager as I am actually quite happy with my life! This could probably be put down to the fact that I have survived these rather unfortunate events.

When I was in primary school this other little horrid child wanted to swing on the jungle gym exactly where I was swinging, so needless to say he with with lightning quick agility push me out of the way and as i hurtled the 5 metres to my immenent death, (im sure you have established by now, that yes I am a drama queen), i managed to escape with only a broken collar bone.

My mathematical ablities are not one of my strong points, and when I was in grade 7 I scored 90% for a maths test. My dear mother, who of course knew I was capable of this talent all along as I am special, celebrated by allowing me to choose whatever i wanted for dinner. Needless to say another unfortunate event occured, i tripped of our french Poodle (who also ate my christmas present, a Sun Conure parrot only two weeks after i got him) and hit my head on the corner of a brick that happened to be in the kitcen. Now when i do something i do it properly, so of course i had a seizure, fell unconscious and ended up in the Intensive Care Unit having to have Cat scans and not being allowed to eat for about a day and a half.

My latest of unfortunate events happened in Febuary of this year. Having been to a friends farewell and consuming a few glasses of wine my boyfriend and i decided to call it a night and head home, well as you acn guess things didn't quite go as planned. I was sitting in the passengers seat and he was driving, failing to shut my door properly as I got into the car, not wearing my seatbelt and having the said glasses of wine resulted in a deadly mix...well almost. I fell out of the car going around a sharp corner at about 80 kilometres an hour after my boyfriend asked me to please close my door. I rolled a few meters behind the car, and then decided i must be dead. well I can definately say seeing the light was not as euphoric as other survivors seem to say, in fact it was decidedly painful and the light was rather my boysfriends reverse lights as he came to my rescue.
Just to let you know i was wearing a strapless top, a miniskirt and a g-string, so as you can imagine I was not left with much skin. He took me to the hospital to have my ear stiched back together and to try and salvage what skin i had left. The damage was a broken cocix, damaged nerves in my spine, a half torn apart ear and severe loss of skin, mostly on my back and derie're, which is not the most comfortable of places!

My life has been quite uneventful since Febuary, so I do not have any more unfortunate events to report on but I can say with a certain amount of confidence that I am sure i will soon, hopefully not as painful as the last!